To Be Adored

As a teacher, one of the biggest benefits of my schedule includes summer break. I'll be the first to tell you it takes me the entirety of the months of June and July to recover from the past school year, and often this recovery is both physical and mental. For the past few years, I have made an intentional practice of taking the month of June for rest, and using the month of July to get ahead for the next school year and complete my professional development. I spend much of the month of July reading and napping, and during this time, my two adorable puppies, who are actually ten and thirteen, are ecstatic that someone is home all day.

Right before I went back to work for the next school year, I noticed just how much one of my lovely fur babies has truly become my companion. She sleeps next to me most nights, especially when my husband is traveling, curled right up next to my body. I read that dogs prefer to sleep with their owners because they can co-regulate more effectively when they're in close proximity. Their breathing will even begin to sync with ours as they relax next to us. There is a very specific sound that all dogs make as the plop down next to us, and I used to interpret it as a sort of grumpy acceptance, but I recently read that this long sigh is their body finally relaxing as they feel safe and regulated next to the person they love the most. In fact, my sweet baby Lolly consistently puts her head on our pillows and blankets when we're not seated near her. I refer to her habit of nosing through our laundry (clean or dirty) as snoofling, and she consistently snoofles our clothing when we aren't home. As I started to mentally document her behavior I realized how much she watches my every step and matches my rhythm and pacing. When I sit on the couch to drink my coffee and read, she plops down right next to me. When I ask her if she wants to take a "doggy nappy" she leaps into the bedroom and onto the bed, cuddled up near the pillows. When I work on my computer at the table, she is laying directly below my feet waiting for my next move. In the evening, when she really wants to cuddle, she will gaze into my eyes with so much love. I knew before this summer that we humans truly don't deserve dogs, and that God had created them as our companions, but Lolly showed me a new level of loyal and connection this summer. I can walk into the garage for ten minutes, and she greets me at the door with a toy in her mouth, whining because she's so excited that I'm back. When I return after errands or longer periods of time, she leaps across carpets to get to me, and wiggles her butt so forcefully I'm afraid she'll knock me over.

The last few weeks, as I waited for God to respond to some very specific prayers, I intentionally sat in silence most mornings with my coffee, Lolly by my side, and I was struck at how much she models unconditional love and companionship. Am I following my Father at every footstep and change in routine? Am I leaping across carpets when he gives me a direction and showing the same level of joy in His presence? Do I read His word and gaze lovingly at the words on the page, and do I let His presence regulate me when my nervous system is in shambles? Do I lay at His feet when I need comfort and spend as much time as possible in His presence?

Do we spend enough time in stillness and silence, patiently waiting at the feet of our Savior? Do we know His voice so well that when He calls us into fellowship with Him that we come running with such joy we can barely contain ourselves? As the school year starts I already feel the pressure to fill my schedule, prove my worthiness by my productivity, and strive for the affirmation of my peers. I want so badly to break this habit of scheduling my business as a performance in productivity, and spend more time with my Father. True, silent, contemplative time where I rest, regulate and listen for His voice. Luckily, I have the ultimate model of loving companionship at home, and when I see how at peace she can be even sleeping on a blanket with our smells, I recognize what true peace looks like. Let us all start this school year with the intention of finding a slower, more intentional rhythm, saying no to the busyness, and celebrating opportunities for stillness and silence.